Silence

Sometimes I feel as if I don’t have a voice, lost in the aftermath of things I could or should have said. I become nostalgic, complacent on looking back and missing things, people, and opportunities that could have worked, but didn’t. I plague my reality with horrors of missed applications and repetitive questions of why this and why that? Why do I constantly feel that I must assume the role of making others feel special, why has it been lost on myself that someone should be making me feel special. I’m often misdirected and therefore circle back in to the familiar routine that let me down in the first place. I struggle to gain perspective on who I am, what I want to become, and what direction I should travel. I feel confined by my indecision, scared to put down roots, and scared to take the risk. I do not have an answer on how to overcome these feelings, I have not had some great epiphany that will silence these fleeting insecurities, but what I do have is today, a new opportunity to be better than the person that I was yesterday; a new opportunity to approach the world with an optimistic view on how today will be the day that I get it right.